When we see one another on the street, we focus on what's different, what's interesting, strange, appealing or out and out weird! Getting to know one another is a problem because of what we perceive, what we believe and what we've experienced. We are INFLUENCED by the superfluous not by what truly matters UNTIL WE begin to TALK TO ONE ANOTHER.
Finding the Commonalities
We all have desires that we have not started to pursue, we all have fears and we all have strengths and weaknesses.
Passed the class but hasn't taken the licensing exam
Recognized skill & ability but hasn't pursued employment or promotion
Presented with opportunity but hasn't accepted it
Excelled for the employer but hasn't started a business
We fear what looks like failure and sometimes what looks like success because we're
not sure how to shift from failure to success or how to handle a fall from success to
The truth is "failure is not fatal and success is not permanent". To THRIVE you
have to be able to handle the shifts between failure and success in both directions.
We all want the benefit of the doubt if we do or say something rude, but we don't automatically give others the benefit of what we so desperately want when we are in the wrong.
If you cut someone off in traffic, you feel sorry and try to show apology in some way to
the person you cut off hoping desperately that they understand that it was a mistake.
If you are cut off in traffic, you automatically assume that it was done without care or
concern for others and if the drivers vehicle is an expensive one, you assume that they
have a "privileged" mentality lacking common courtesy for those without their privilege.
The truth is, most people are concerned about the impact they have on others. You don't
know anything about the person who cut you off and to assume it was done without
concern or done deliberately is the bigger problem, not that they cut you off.
We all want to be accepted even if we are different from others. We don't necessarily want to be "IN" but we don't want to be pushed or kept out or deliberately excluded either. And being"tolerated"is not the same thing as being accepted. Whether you agree with a difference or not, we all want to be accepted...somewhere.
40 year old children still living with their parents
Spouses who just don't grasp some of life's complexities
Negative influences that bind people together
Women who cling to men, Men who cling to women, Parents who cling to children
We all want to "feel" love and "feel" like we belong somewhere.
The truth is, we all have emotional needs but not the same opportunity to fulfill them.